Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Looking back...Looking forward

I've decided that it's really easy to get so focused on where we're going and what needs to be done, that weforget to turn around and see what we've accomplished, what's happened, and how far we really have come.
I have recently started going through pictures-trying to organize and scan them. It was amazing to me how much my life has altered and changed throughout the last 13 years!
Even though it seems like only a couple of years ago that I got married, it has been 12! How does that happen?
My perspective has become twinged with age and I am starting to realize what my older siblings and friends have been telling me for years: It will be over before you know it!
I'm panicking!! I don't want it all to go by this fast! I'm not ready for a pre-teen already! I want time to stop. I want to hold on tighter to the memories that I have of my life!
I'm realizing how blessed I am that I have been able to share 13 years of my life with such a wonderful man! There are so many days I wish I could go back and re-write some of our history, but only so that they would be better for him. Less selfishness, more gratitude. Less arguing, more love making. Fewer tears, more laughter. Less fear, more trust. But that's the hard thing about the past-as wonderful as it is to look back at it. There are all those things you want to change. But, really, through the happiness and sorrow, I have learned so very much, and loved so much more because of the things I would "change," and I don't know if I would really change them at all?
Looking back or looking forward, I know that I am right where I am meant to be in this life!
I am so immensely grateful for all that I have. And all that is to come!
"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present."
I can't stop time. I can't erase the past. I can't even image what's in store for my future. But as long as I have my family with me, and we can be grateful for and enjoy each day as it's given to us, then I will be able to leave this mortal life in peaceful bliss, looking back with no regrets, and looking forward to eternity!